I have taken a course under a professor whom I have come to intensely dislike. However, he said something that was a lesson. He said, " The purpose of communication is to expess and not impress". I would like to make it my guiding principle. I have a few of them actually.
I am dissatisfied with my life. Yes, that might be a very common sentence. Nevertheless, I would like to list my grievances. Despite best intentions and some feeble attempts, I have not learnt to enjoy daily life. Destination completely obscures the journey. For many days, I haven't looked at the sky, or walked a leisurely walk. Life's pace consumes me and I do not, cannot stop. Where it leads to, no idea. Distance between my family and me is increasing. It sounds blasphemous and the temptation is to gloss over it but it won't do. I don't respond to music and my reading has drastically reduced. A movie that takes my mind away from the comfort zone that it has enconsed itself in, it rejects. I am becoming more and more overweight.
There are a few positives. My group spends a wonderful time together. I have become mellower. It sounds aged but its right for me. I don't snap as often and am generally less erosive of people's egos. I have become a more sincere worker. Ambition has grown in me and for the moment I would consider it positive.
I remain as indecisive as ever. "Forever at crossroads" is a description that fits me well. Never knew a thing about career preferences, now don't even know love and such like.
There are no major worries and that, thank God, is a relief. The time ahead, next two three months are career fashioning. Its a time of opportunities and immense pressure.
Prayed in a temple for the first time in a long, long time. Didn't do it well. Should do it more often.
Tomorrow is New year's eve. I would set up a party in the dorm. That should be exciting.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
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