Metal detectors and being effeminate

Why can't cinema halls have metal detectors for security checks? In their absence, their security personnel have a field day groping all and sundry in the garb of frisking. The experience is amazing in its consistancy. It happens at every cinema hall in the country. Seems they have all included it in their procedure for providing superior customer experience. God! Save me from superior service. I can understand how girls feel when they get similar unwanted attention from certain men. Its disgusting but not, I dare say, as much as this superior customer experience for three reasons. One, at least it doesn't happen at, through (whatever) the hands of somebody from the same sex. Two, it doesn't wear a garb of legitemacy and one can move away, protest, give a dirty look, beat up (depending on the possibilities, dictated by the circumstance). Three, the thoroughness and the professionalism of the cinema job simply cannot be matched by furtive, blink and you miss it efforts made on crowded roads, public transports et cetera.

Within a week, I have been chided by two girls for being effeminate. I don't know what to make of it. I am midly perturbed and amused by it. It surely is a huge change from my school days, when I can safely say that I was one of the bullies, bad boys. Out of the hardships experienced then arose a desire to better oneself. Paths of righteousness were explored and walked down. I think this sucked out all the bravado and some of the ego of human males from me. I am just saying that men and women have different types of ego. While I can make an effort to describe them but I think its better that everybody thinks about it himself/ herself. Two presumptions, regarding readership and its willingness to ponder over my writing are both examples of the ego common ground between men and women but there are gender specific ego points as well. Digressions aside, lack of male bravado, bluster and ego coupled with certain habits acquired have threatened to give me an effeminate tag. However, people who know me better would never say I am effeminate. They know a nasty, ugly side of me remains, which surfaces far less frequently but every so often. Also, I think that these habits and sweet exterior are just the surface. Scratch it and one can find a practical, almost unemotional , mean me.

orkut description

March-August 2007

I am a standard issue human male of Indian origin- did my undergrad in engineering and my post grad in management. I have joined work recently. I have always been so grounded in reality that going orthogonal to it is a huge temptation for me at times.
I aspire for beauty and sweetness in life and aim to live the small details- doing the small things that make me happy.
My undergrad took me to Delhi, post grad to Ahmedabad and job has brought me to Mumbai. Will I survive Mumbai? Hope springs eternal
I like to write. I like people reading my writing even more. Here’s the link: http://achaln.blogspot.com

Three months into my first job

Its been exactly three months since I began working. It it too early to pass judgement on its pleasures, trials and tribulations but its time to take stock. Its not been hard work. My mind does not shut off the moment it hits the pillow, some days I have to cajole it in a million different ways for it to lose its grip on reality and make acquaintance with dreams. At the same time, its been stressful. My job requires me to listen to, talk to and convince a lot of people. This is what has proved to be stressful. Doing work by oneself is not difficult at all. Our education system teaches us to do exactly that and people who excel through the system do not find it difficult to do things by themselves in the job. However, the same system does not teach, and I agree its not easy to teach such things in classroom situations, inter personal skils. All the heartburn in my job emanates from the difficulties I face in inter personal situations.

Another thing that's become apparent is: working a job requires a lot of patience. No matter how fast one wants to and can move, work will only move at the pace of the slowest link involved. I have been impatient, leading to a lot of anguish. Its a fine line. One has to be impatient and push for results but at the same time have the awareness of one individual's limitations in a team set up to push things.

I also have the feeling that I have been intellectually lazy. This has two parts. One, I have got in to an execution mind set: let others do the thinking and I will execute it. It clearly hasn't worked. Other people also haven't thought much about it since it was my job. I haven't been able to influence things as much as I would have liked. Also, it has led to a lower level of job satisfaction. Second, I havent kept track of what is expected of me.

Lastly, I have the vague feeling of dislocation. Today, I can't tell you where my home is. I can solve it by getting used to the idea or getting a girl friend. Of course, getting a girl friend is a solution to a lot of other things, but that for another time :)

What I think I have to do to be a lot more happier in work and hence in life:
1. Prepare for people interactions
2. Be patient
3. Work harder intellectually
4. Get a girlfriend :D:D